The Feeling
I had been in a state of dilemma in the past 6 mnonths of my life. I am battling againstv hyperhidrosis and depression. Everything must be fought clean hands. I tried several things everyday to deferat this plague over coming my body. I tried to beat it up. I felt that I was full of everything, the good, the bad and the ugly. It seems like my life is turning up side down. I cannot do anything that I liked before. Most of my joyous moments were increasingly diminished as depression and hyperhidrosis progresses. It seems that I am trapped in a cage full of dark walls and memories that I like to escape. I want to do somethjing better in my life but my hyperhidrosis prevents me from doing things I may like. I was living a closely ideal life for my prevention of hyperhidrosis in the house but in exchange was the restlessness feeling then depression. I was extremely feeling bad in several areas of daily living. I want to end it all.
I want to live the rest of my life hyperhidrosis free and depression away. I want to have a beautiful life with my family, my special someone and friends. I don’t want hyperhidrosis and depression hinder me to achieve my successes in life. I am tired of this. I am tired of being careful for my actions and then let the good things passes by. I had been simple, isolated and unsocial. My weakness became evident and my strength set aside. I wish I hgave no mood disorder and sweating regulation problems. I am not comfortabvle at this moment for sweat drips from my scalp. I had said excuses and explain the rationale of my problems but I guess few cared.
I had been smiling to hide all the uncertainty and discrimination away. Even sadness I tried to hide but as I repeatedly do this, it became harder. I am in our 34 degrees celsius house and my shirt are close to damp wet. I want to hold the Earth on my bare hands and change the imperfections this world can offer to me and even my self.
I am not happy about my self but most people say that I can do it. One thing for them I can say is, it is easy for them to say and accomplish actions to not fall from this condition. I had 2 health poblems that I had to live every day of my life, in the philippines and in my home. This started to take effeft in the relationship towards my friends, classmates, family and my special someone. Even if that special someone did not care for these problems and loved me for my best and worst, I can feel the pain to live witb these conditions everyday of my life.
Love me! without condition and I will love you also. God, I pray to you to cast all the pain and depression these health problems had caused in me. Let me learn to be thrifty towards the money I have on my pocket and let me use them wisely. I love my family especially my special someone, guide them to happiness that I missed before and let them continue to love me without condition. Life will be less meaningful without them. I turn to you, God. I know nothing is impossible for you.
God help me!
